122. Michelle Walters’ New Book Breaks Down Everyday Leadership—Here’s What You Need to Know

Music. Welcome to mind power meets mystic The show where practical mind power and mystical wisdom collide with humor and wild curiosity. Yeah,

we're not here to play it safe. I'm Cynthia Varkevisser, your resident spiritual shit disturber. I stir things up with mystic power and bold action.

And I'm Michelle Walters, coach and Hypnotherapist. I bring strategy and transformative hypnosis to help you turn subconscious blocks into unstoppable momentum.

Let's shake up your thinking, dive into your soul and make bold moves in your life.

We'll take you on a journey of breakthrough and aha moments, exploring spirit, business, love relationships and self expansion. We're

connecting you with your highest self and flipping fear into strength. So

buckle up. We're doing this one wild, transformative conversation at a time.

Let's go, hey, hey, hey, and welcome to Mind power meets mystic. This is Cynthia Varkevisser, your spiritual shit disturber, intuitive integrity coach, and this program's mystic. And of course, we are here with my pal and co host and our mind power junkie. Ms, Michelle Walters, this amazing hypnotherapist and leadership coach, and today we are going to talk about very exciting her upcoming book, The ABCs of conscious leadership. Let's get down to it, Michelle, because I'm so excited and so happy for you on this on this part of your journey, you tell me it makes sense that you have gone from your first book, which is how to find the work that you love, to the ABCs of conscious leadership. It makes sense to me, but I would like to hear from you what drove you to do this second book. Well,

my first book, I mean, you know me, I'm a little bit Woo. I'm not the woo est person in the world, but my first book is, you know, kind of on the woo side. I wanted to write a book that really wasn't on the woo side. And the ABCs of conscious leadership is not it's not a woo woo book at all. Really. I was looking around, thinking about the world these days and recognizing that I kind of think the world is in a time of hurt. You know, the plan that's having trouble unity is a problem like, we got a lot going on right now, there's a lot of uncertainty, and I don't think we're going to fix our problems unless we can kind of figure out how to pull it together. And one of the things that I felt like was missing was kind of recognizing the people, recognizing people for the leaders they are. So, you know, it's easy for us to say, Oh, this Hollywood star is a leader in entertainment, or the governor is a leader, or the CEO is a leader. But the fact is, we are surrounded by leaders everywhere we go, and people, even in what might seem to be kind of every day or regular stuff, are acting as leaders, and I wanted to recognize them and elevate them and help people see that. You know, being a mom, you're a leader. Being a waitress, you're a leader. You don't have to be running a billion dollar organization to be a leader and be important. And so I did this by weaving together 26 traits, one for each letter of the alphabet because it's an ABC book, and then in each chapter of the book that deals with that particular letter is a trait of conscious leaders. It has a story about a conscious leader, mostly from history, some are present day, who exemplifies that trait. It has a personal story from me, and then it has an affirmation that just kind of helps you to build upon that particular trait. So I think as we talk today, I'm going to be able to relate some of your questions to some of the examples that I have from the book. The type of people who I think are going to like my book are people who want to be uplifted, people who want to recognize what are values of conscious leaders and how to amplify them in their lives, and how to not just amplify them, but recognize these leadership traits, both inside themselves as well as in the people around you, in the lady at the grocery store, in the person who picks up your trash you know. We are all leaders, and it is important that we see that so that we can figure out how we're going to work together to make the world a better place.

I love that you're actually going back a little bit to our episode 118 when we talked about how receiving is giving and really taking a look around you, actively listening and seeing where you can call this information, get these skills from all the people around you. It is really disheartening to see how people are choosing their leaders or their heroes and sheroes right now. Now, a lot of them are amazing, and they have a lot of good things, but I look at the reality TV, and I'm not going to lie, I like some of that reality TV too. Mine is more like RuPaul drag race than things like that, other than, you know, other than other reality shows. But it's reality shows just the same, right? So I love that one thing when we were talking beforehand, is I develop my leadership skills consciously through my martial arts. And it's amazing that I'm considered an elder at this martial art. Been doing it for over 20 years. I don't think of myself as an elder. I just think of myself as continuing to change and grow and sharing as I go along. Only when I look back Do I consider that leadership. But here's the thing, my martial arts group is a community. It's a smaller community. I would love to share this episode with people who are ranked below me, who are also starting to share and see how they can put it out in the world. Because what I see with and myself included, is that there are times where I am not 100% of who I am 100% of the time, right? I hide that martial arts leadership. So what can you what letter do you recommend for the people of my martial arts, or other places where you see these budding leaders starting to pick up these things, and then as soon as they go outside of that circle, they're not a leader. It's not

so the letter that I'm going to pick to go with your martial arts studio is H, and H stands for humanness, because I think that it is very important that we recognize the humanness, the humanity in other people. And in a world of martial arts, where it's a matter of, I mean, there's a lot going on in a martial arts studio, right? You got to show people how to fight. You got to show people how to heal. You got to show people how to be at Grace and peace with one another. You got to show people how to, I don't know, change the class schedule or, or, you know, do make decisions together. And I think a huge part of what helps leaders to grow in that regard is just recognizing other people that we're all human. You know, occasionally you're gonna maybe throw a punch that was a little harder than you thought it would be. Or, you know, maybe the roof gets covered in water, and you have to figure out how to send people up there and pump it off, right? And which, you know, I think happened. So there the letter that I picked, I think that goes best with that is, is h, h for humanness. My example in my book for H for humanness comes from Stephen Hawking. Oh, because Stephen Hawking is a human, unlike a lot of humans that we think about, right, an exemplary leading physicist. He lived with ALS for most of his life and spoke through a machine, um. But when you think about it, he really exemplified, in my mind what it means to be human, even though part of his humanity was stretching to the stars and speaking through a machine. But there's a level of humanity in somebody with that level of life challenge that I think is really, really, very

important. I love that, and I love that you picked Stephen Hawking. He's someone that I don't identify with, not because we don't have anything in common, but I just go a little bit too Woo. So thank you for bringing that back and saying, yeah, he's he's relative. He's relative to well. And my story

about humanness is that I see this. I see humanness in my hypnosis practice with people every day. You know people who are stuck because something happened when they were a little kid and they really haven't gotten past it, or people who are stuck because they're in a relationship and their partner or, soon to be, expert. Partner is behaving badly. You know, we all have to cope with this level of humanness, and I think that it it's an important trait to remember as we're all trying to grow in our conscious leadership. That

totally makes sense to me. I love that. Let's switch it up a little bit. I have people in my sphere, clients, friends, who've lost people recently, and you can see that there is a shift. Let's say I think that's the best way to say it. And I'm not saying that they are knocked down or so overcome with grief, that they're frozen, but there's a shift in their reality, and in this shift, of course, because there's this emptiness, and from emptiness, there's this growth. I see them wavering in their leadership, and maybe wavering is not the word, but there's, there's a piece that either is being pushed too hard or being shrunk back. It's not, it's not right size, which makes sense with grief, but it is an important thing. It is so natural to lose people, animals, property, space. Things you know in this loss. What would you recommend in order for for them to remember that this is a place of learning and growth and actually a place where you can take this in and lead and move forward.

So it may sound a little backwards, but the letter that I'm going to bring up for this one is E for energetic. And while I totally hear you, and I've been through a lot of loss myself, like there is a piece of that loss where all you want to do is crawl into bed and drink, have somebody bring you hot cocoa, you know. But that loss is, is a is a stage on a path to some kind of new beginning, whatever that new beginning looks like. And maybe it's not a new beginning you particularly want or want at the moment, but it is a new beginning. You know, it's kind of like the seasons. It has to be winter in order to, you know, bake the ground so that the new buds can come up again in spring. And so, you know, with that, that loss, I really see it as it's, it's a moment that the energy levels are shifting from one place to another. And so the the letter that I think comes up for me when I think about that being may sound a little weird, but it's it's energetic, because it is the shifting of the energy from one past process, from one past reality into a new one. You have been listening to mind power meets mystic with me. Michelle Walters and my co host, Cynthia Varkevisser, we want to tell you about a special gig the two of us have going on. It's called mind power meets mystic, the project, and it starts off on a zoom call with Cynthia. Cynthia tell everybody what they can expect. So

for the first half of our session, you will be with me, and Michelle will be very quietly in the background preparing to do her work. What we will do is that we will talk about the one thing that you either want to amp up or that you want to release, and through the intuitive work, I help you get boil it down to its essence, and then give you an RX of three practical things to do to set you on your way. And then Michelle magically appears. What is it that you do that Michelle, I have been

listening in but not participating in the first half of the call. I have an excellent idea of what Cinthia means when she says something, and I have an excellent idea of quickly getting to what my client is all about and his or her individual strengths. I turn all of this into a 20 to 30 minute hypnosis session on the second half of the call, which, when we're done, I strip off and send you as an mp three that you can listen to over and over again. You also will have Cynthia's three point recommendations and the recording of the Zoom call. It is a fantastic one hour offering a great gift for yourself or for someone you don't know what to get such insights, and we've gotten such great reviews. So if you're interested, send me or Cynthia an email. You'll find our contact information in the show notes, and we'll tell you how to get started. Let's

my mom to cancer way back in: 2015

which is a different Yeah, yeah. I think, well, I don't think that many people who are in that state of grief are often reaching out for leadership, coaching, maybe more reaching out for therapy or healing, or that kind of a thing. You have to kind of distinguish when is it a time to heal versus when is it a time to grow? And it sounds like at the point that your mom died, and for that two year period you had a period where you needed to heal, you know, because until you could heal, you can't really grow. And I mean, same thing happened to me. My partner died, and I opened my business, and, you know, tried to get the ball rolling, but the ball only rolls so hard when you're still in a process of healing. So, you know, I think my my leadership, clients, for the most part, are maybe resolving a few things, but they're not at the depth of grief that you're describing with mom passing. Because you have to be in kind of a steady state for to be able to move forward. I think of it as kind of like, you know, got to be able to stand the rocking of the ship right, right? But

here's the thing I find interesting, and tell me if I'm going off topic a little bit too much, but what I found is that I've seen other people whose mother has passed and they slut they won't. I don't use the word sludge through but there is a form of grace in which they move. And to me, that's leadership. And you know, I would love to get your your thoughts, but

it just, it just depends on the person. Cinthia, there are people you've seen, people who somebody dies, and they cry for a day, and then they're kind of good, mostly, at least they appear to be good. And there are people for whom, you know, it doesn't seem like it's that big a deal, but it's a really big deal. You know, I was flipping through Facebook the other day and somebody posted that her hamster died. And, you know, it was a big deal. She had friends saying, Oh, we know how much the hamster meant to you, right? Well, for some people, losing a hamster is a big deal. And for some people, losing a hamster is like, Friday, you know? It's just another day. So it really, really depends. We don't have, we don't have really metrics or ways to talk, you know, how do you talk about depth of grief? Like there's not a measurement stick for that exactly. It has to be individual. And there's no, you know? I mean, when I was grieving, I would have people say, Oh, well, he's been gone for a year, so he must be over it by now. Well, it's better over it? No, no, definitely not. You know, it's very, very individual, and that's the only way I think we can handle it in a in a human, caring kind of way.

Thank you. Thank you for that, and that's why I love you as a leadership coach. Just saying, just saying, let's flip it just a little bit. I would like to talk on behalf of moms. So spinning back from when my mom passed. It took my mom's passing to realize all the shit she did. I mean, she held together. You know, our family, when her mom passed, she was the the key. What's that? Called the Keystone? She was the Keystone, or the linchpin, right? She was that the centerpiece. She was. She really was. And when she passed, nobody really. He knew how to pick that up. That's a whole different story. But it also helped me look at my role as a mom and how I led. I'm not going to say that. You know, Frank wasn't a piece of it at all. Yes, he did. However, it's really nice to take a look and see how I had contributed to my family and the ways that we had moved forward, how that looks on a resume is completely different, and it's it's a challenge. I think moms are amazing, and they should run the earth in a different way than they are at this current moment. But in the meantime, what would you recommend for these moms who are shifting, and you see these moms who are saying, whoo, my kids are done. I'm on a next piece. What does that look like? This transition is like so incredible. I believe these are the people that do you like speaking with as well, especially when they had this robust life before they decided to focus on their their children, and then they're ready to move back and and go like gangbusters. What letter would you recommend for them, and what give us a couple of steps of getting so

the letter I'm going to recommend for the moms today is Q, because Q stands for asks questions. And I think that asking questions is huge. So whether you are, you know, in your 40s or 50s, and you're suddenly an empty nesting mom, and you got to figure it out. Ask questions. Be curious. Don't assume that you know it all right. There are whole other worlds going on all over the place, all around us that we don't know, asking questions. Also, my story about asking questions comes from my son. My son, when he was three or four years old, was the king of asking questions. And I know everybody's kids are the king and queen of asking questions, but it is important if you're going to be a quality leader, a good leader, to ask questions. Don't assume that you know everything. Asking questions is going to up level what you know about things. It's going to make you a better mom, it's going to make you a better employee, it's going to make you a better friend, and it also evidences to people that you care. People want to know that you care. You know, there's this great quote, see if I can get it right. People don't care about how much you know until they know how much you care, right? John Maxwell quote, and it makes a lot of sense to me. So, you know, I think in terms of the moms and recognizing leadership that, I mean, it's for moms, but really, I think it's for anybody, like, don't be afraid to ask questions. You don't have to have all the answers. No, we're all human. Nobody has all the answers. But ask questions. It shows people that you value and respect them, and it up levels your own knowledge and opportunities about what to do in any situation.

That makes sense. I love the thought of Yeah, of course, moms don't know everything. A lot of moms feel like they don't know anything, and asking questions helps everything relatable, right? So they could say, well, it doesn't work like this, but in my household, it's this or this is how I do other things. And asking questions also helps with outreach, just like you said, and it expands your worlds. I love that so very much. Now, along with your along with your book, we haven't talked about this, you do these classes or right? So let's talk about that because and then tell us what else you got going on with your book, like, when is it coming

up so quickly? About the classes? I'm a John Maxwell certified leadership coach, and every month I teach one free class on one of Maxwell's books. So if you're interested in coming to one of those classes, they're always at noon on some day of the week that moves around. So, you know, if it's not a good time this month, it might be a better time next month kind of thing. But I always teach them at noon, because that just makes it easy. And if you're on the Pacific coast, you can come on your lunch hour kind of thing. Great little classes. One's about growth, one's about leadership, developing the leader within you. And then my book, the book, is actually coming out at the end of February. I think we're scheduled for February 20, and so on the big day, I will be reaching out to people through podcasts and through social media on my email chain, asking for the support of my. Audiences to purchase a digital copy of the book. It's going to be super cheap, like 99 cents or $1.99 but I'm really going to ask for everybody's support so that I can become a best selling author, because I dream about being a best selling author. After the book comes out, I will be doing more speaking on these values of conscious leadership. I want to help people, regular people. I mean, I'd be happy to help CEOs and Division Heads too, but I want to help people understand what is leadership, and how are they exemplifying leadership in their lives, and how can they use it in order to advance to bring us into a more unified place. And one of the things I'm really passionate about is, how do we how do we talk more about our planet, because we got one, and I don't think we're moving to Mars anytime soon. And how do we make it a better place that we all want to live in? Um, so these are some of the directions I want to go with my with my speaking in my book,

I love it. I love it. Michelle, I love you. I love that we are co hosts. I love what you're doing. You inspire me daily. And thank you. Thank you, thank you. You inspire me

too. Thank you for thank you for interviewing me about my book today. Cinthia, I really appreciate it.

Of course, of course, acting

like the guest on mind. Power means mystic. You are

the guest. You are the star. Okay, so, thank you so very much. I hope everyone enjoyed this episode. I know that there's some really juicy information and advice in here. Please take it, share it with loved ones like and review the show and let us know if there's anything else that you'd like us to discuss. Alright, thanks a lot. Michelle, okay, bye, bye.