144. Sewing Memories: How Art Heals Grief, Trauma, and Identity with Noemi Beres

und in online marketing since: 2007

Thank you so much, Michelle and Cinthia, for for today and inviting me,

I think you are the furthest away person we have spoken to yet, being nearly on the other side of the world. I am a Mediterranean fanatic, and can only imagine the beauty, the beauty of the world that surrounds you living in Cyprus,

yeah, absolutely, it's a fantastic place. I was born and raised in Hungary in Central Europe, but moved here almost I think it's not, not 13, but wow, 14 years ago. And yeah, I fell in love with the Mediterranean lifestyle, and when I first visited Greece. And then, yeah, the universe brought me to Cyprus. So,

fabulous, fabulous. Well, you are here as one of our guests on our chakra series. So we are moving past chakra one and on to chakra two, which Cinthia is going to tell us about, because I'm still learning my chakras, truth be

told, so funny. It's the sacral chakra. So it it resides above the tailbone, in your sacrum area, and it is a lovely, lovely chakra that we don't talk about very much, because it's a feminine chakra. It's about receptivity. It's about femininity, it's about creativity. It's about all these things that are wonderful about receiving. And we are in a time where receiving is not the most looked upon quality, and it's actually a gift to be able to receive you. And I actually did a previous podcast that receiving is the greatest form of generosity, because you're allowing someone through vulnerability, to be generous as well. So it's a it's a lovely thing. And Noemi, you are a perfect guest, because you blend these two businesses together of art, as well as speaking through podcasting, right and connecting people. So there's a lot of creativity happening, and on so many different levels. I'm really create curious about your mixed media art, more specifically, because you mix fabric with paper, which is not easy, the way that I look at it, right, it's, it's not very easy, and because it could be very clunky, and you do it seamlessly, can you tell us about Greece and your art, like, what which one inspired the other? Or was it mutual? How did that happen.

I mean, the I think, for my collages, for my mixed media collage, is the most inspiring thing, is the Mediterranean lifestyle, obviously, like Cyprus, but also my Hungarian heritage. I don't know if people can, you know, see it when they watch it. The video that I have a few collages behind me on the wall, and I usually mix my Hungarian heritage like old postcards, old photos, like vintage photos, lace, different fabrics. And I sue everything. I saw everything on a canvas, basically, which is kind of hard on your hands and everything, but it stays there. And I figured out, because I live in Cyprus and the glue doesn't stick, because the feather is very humid, you know, especially during summer. So I figured that let's try a new technique. Let's sew everything together. So that's where the idea came from, that I'm sewing my memories together. So it's like kind of a memory book, or you can call it. And that's what I make on my on my canvases. But I also use, like, you know, different memories from my trips from all over the world, from Spain, from from Venice, Italy. So I these are my memories, like kind of an homage to my memories, and homage to my Hungarian heritage.

I love it. I'm all about heritage. If you don't know that, I am all about it, because culture is what makes us rich, right? That's the spice. That's the spice in your world, in your personal world. Now you started you you've always had art in your life, but there were specific events that actually transformed your artwork and and propelled you in a different direction.

xpecting my son, and that was: 2012

No, I don't think you need to be an artist. One of the things that I think is really fascinating with people who get into art, of whether it's creating collages or performing or different kinds of art, is finding the way to to create and to recognize that what you create has its own beauty. It doesn't have to be perfect. And so, you know, one of the things that comes up for a lot of people I work with right now is this, this notion that everything has to be perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect. You know, identity, identity. People with identity problems, people with imposter syndrome, yeah, these kinds of things. And so I'm kind of wondering if you can speak a little bit more to your approach, and how you've kind of found that way through that enables you to to both play and experiment and accept and grow, because I think it's, it's an important, it's important thing for people to think about and and recognize,

for me, art, this is a great question. Michelle, thank you. So for me, was like, it's a form of meditation, and I think for so many other people too, because it's really, it's repetitive. It's so it's a soothing action. It's if some people can't meditate because it just takes so much focus from you, and it takes years to meditate perfectly, but not perfectly, because nothing's perfect, but like meditation, you know, in a more effective way, because our monkey brain, it always like, comes back, and it's really hard to control that. But interestingly, when you make art, it happens so much easier and naturally when you when you do that, because when you sew, when you paint, when you just maybe use it just a coloring book or anything with color pencils, it's amazing, like even your blood pressure. Drops, your pulse rate goes down, because it's like a form of meditation. It soothes you, and it's a form of cataracts. It's purging. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's amazing, because you are in a different world, and you can connect with yourself on so much deeper level. So for me, that's the most important part, and that's also the healing part, because you do this repetitively, if you do this like every day, maybe just for 10 minutes, and whatever you know, method you you use, it's, it's amazing that it can, you know, increases the serotonin level in your brain, which helps fight depression. So it's, it's, has a healing property, and not just something who stuff that you know, somebody came up with it. It actually helps your body to relax and to keep just quiet your mind and quiet your body and soul. And it's, it's amazing, but it's also it really helps to express different emotions, anger, hurt, sadness, grief. And it's, and it's doesn't really matter how disturbing your art is, because, as you said, Michelle, it doesn't have to be perfect. It can be dark, it can be whatever you want to be. You don't have to show it to anyone. This is yours. It's your journey. And the journey is so much important than the actual artwork that you prepare and you can express all kind of emotions, and you don't have to, you know, sweep them under the carpet, but it will come out, and it will help you to heal. So it has all these healing modalities, and that's, that's the amazing thing about it, and also taps your your self esteem, because there are so many people in this world nowadays, and what I noticed, especially women, that we struggle so much with self esteem. And just the idea that you finish something, it's just amazing. And then it's like, I finished something. This is me, this that's what I created. Because in this virtual world, this is very few things that we can actually touch and feel physically. And there is an artwork, a painting, a drawing, that we can it's paper or, you know, a textile we can touch these things. It's, I think it's really important.

I think so too. And the other piece of what we'd kind of looked at and talked about is how, and you explained, was really pulling yourself out of the online world and putting yourself into the hands on making something tangible, tangible world. And I just think that's so important that the digital world is so easy. It's so push a button, it's so, you know, it's kind of always there, 24/7, but it's not inspiring that level of creativity, that level of playfulness. And really, I think, as it relates to my understanding of the second chakra, that that sense of self and and being, and allowing that self expression to happen. And I just find that so healing and important and, and I'm kind of excited for you, Noemi, for having found

a way out, you know, a new ritual of doing something that's not digital.

e been working remotely since: 2007

yes, I'm really curious about the people that you serve, the way that you're talking about when once you said ritual, I'm hooked anything that has that says ritual, because there's a sacredness to it, right? There's an intentionality and, and I love that, and the the things that people get out of it, it relates to all the chakras, right? Sense of well being, sense of being bigger than than something else. And but I like the thought that there people are actually finding pleasure, right? They're finding pleasure in something that they're creating. Can you think of anyone in particular where they came to you and they were like, I'm not an artist, or they're saying, you know, my life just sucks. And you know, please help me. I'll do anything. And and how did the transformation take place before your eyes?

I usually do this through podcasts, so I don't really have, like, a clientele that I work with, but for me, the experience that actually, like I can bring them my mom as an example. So I have a short as it's a short story for you. So middle of the pandemic. My mom actually stranded here in Cyprus with us, which is not the universe place to be stranded during the pandemic. But obviously she wanted to get back home to Hungary, but she couldn't because there were no flights. So she stayed here. And obviously she was anxious about how her home is at and and it was, it was, you know, it was like a kind of crazy time. And so what I did, I saw, I mean, she's nervous, and she was a kindergarten teacher for 40 years, so she always liked, you know, art as well and creating something. So I had a few coloring books here in the house, because we couldn't find, you know, buy anything, because everything was closed and and colored pencils. And I gave it to her. So every afternoon when she was just everything was too much for her, and we were too much for her, the whole family. So she sat down and started to coloring, and I think she finished like, two coloring books while she was here, and she loved them, and she really enjoyed them, because obviously it worked. It worked on her. And I didn't say a word to think. I just said, Mom, you said, Maybe you should just start doing this. And not should, because should it's, I don't like the word should, but like, you know, I just like it. Just try these and and she, she went along and she enjoyed it so and I saw that she got so much calmer. But also, I there's another thing that I can mention, that I was on a podcast the other day, and the host told me that, you know, when I interviewed you I just, I had the urge to buy a canvas again and paint, and I started to paint again. And that was, you know, and when next time we'd had a chat, I was just so happy for her, because obviously she, you know, if I can just help one person, even through, you know, the virtual world, and when I'm on podcast, and I can just tell them to just inspire them. It's like, okay, just do it and just find your joy, your happiness in it. Anything that's that's a win for me,

that's beautiful. Noemi, and I know it's not sort of exactly on the topic of art, and it's not exactly on the topic of podcasting, but when I met you, I found it fascinating. Noemi, tell our listeners all of the languages you speak.

Oh my gosh, yeah. Well, I'm from Hungary, so I speak Hungarian, that's my mother tongue. English, like, yeah. And because I have master's degree in Scandinavian linguistics, so I speak Danish and Swedish, I understand Norwegian a bit. And I also learned Spanish 10 plus years. And I learned Greek because of I live in, you know, Cyprus, I'm it's, that's not perfect. So I I'm not like, you know, just, you know, working on it. And I also learn Irish as well, because I lived in Ireland before Cyprus, and I never learned Irish. Why I lived there, but I still love Celtic mythology and Ireland and everything that connects to that, and had great memories, so I learned that too. Yeah, okay, that makes

me want to ask, what language do you dream in?

That's a great question. I never thought about that. I think sometimes in English, it's really it's really a mix for me, like, because I read most of the things in English. I watch, like Netflix in English. I listen to podcasts in English. Obviously, Hungarian is our common language at home, because my husband and son, we all speak Hungarian together, but my son is a need, like bilingual with English and Hungarian, but most of the time, and I think that's English too, which is, you know, I've been living abroad, like from away from my country, like, 21 years now. So it's, yeah, it's hard to mix it, not, not like the language. I never mix the language, so I'm, you know, but thinking about it, or, like, jotting down notes, or something that can be mixture of Hungarian English, sometimes depends on what mood I'm in, or, like, you know, whatever

I just I feel like I've met a lot of people in this world. I don't think I've met anyone who has the breadth of languages and depth in languages that that you have no Emmy. It is a it is a striking and memorable skill set allows you to talk to Ted. I mean, I guess you don't speak Chinese or or Hindu, but no, there's a lot of people in the world you could talk to which I find fascinating and amazing. That is

pretty incredible. You know, I'm impressed when I meet someone who knows two languages, and here you have a son that's speaking three you know,

I always Americans don't learn languages. It's not our number one skill

set, not yet, not yet. I feel like it's going to come.

It might change. Yeah, it might need to change. Yeah, America is certainly changing. Maybe, I'm not sure about the direction, but changing definitely. So I just

got back from the US, like two weeks ago, and that was my first time ever. So it was a great, you know, great time, and really interesting, yeah, experience and memories and everything.

So where did you visit in the. Us. It can be so different depending on where you go.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I was in North Carolina, so, oh, wow. Okay,

wow. Yeah, really pretty. And it's, were you in the tech area? So you're in,

I was in the Winston Salem area, and it's like, mostly we did hiking and everything with my friends. So, yeah, it was pretty amazing. I really enjoy that. I love nature. So I, yeah, I would love to go to New York one day, but maybe it was good to start with a smaller, you know, smaller city, because it can be overwhelming. And, you know, I was in, you know, I went many times to Dublin, because I lived in Ireland, or London, or Budapest in Hungary. And those are, you know, bigger cities, but I'm in New York. That's a different scale. I mean, compared to, you know, Europe and everything. Yeah,

it is different. But big cities are just big cities. That's my that's my takeaway. Big cities are just big you've been to big cities. I haven't been to but, but I'll get there. Oh, surely, surely, I'll get there. Noemi, is there something you'd like to share with our listeners?

Sure, um, you know, I love connecting people, and I love to connect with people too, so I'm always happy to, you know, jump on a call and just tell people about our podcast guesting service that we offer. And you can visit our website, which is podcast, connections, plural.co.com, and you can always find me on LinkedIn, Noemi Beres, and also on Instagram, which is my more my artsy page, and noemiberas.com that's my art page, my kind of my online gallery where you can find mostly my cut and paste collages,

beautiful. Well, thank you so much for appearing on our show and telling us all about art. You are making me think about the blank canvases in the closet, and maybe I should do something with them.

I hope, I hope I inspired

you. Oh, you did. You did. Thank you so very

much. Thanks to Emmy. All

right. Thank you, Michelle and Cinthia.