84. Achieve Peace and Productivity: 10 Mind Decluttering Strategies

Hi, we're Cinthia Varkevisser And Michelle Walters, co hosts of "Mind Power Meets Mystic".

Our weekly show is here to expand your mind to what's possible to

uplift your spirits to move forward with confidence and joy,

and to create a space for your collaboration with the invisible. Welcome to "Mind Power Meets Mystic". Welcome to "Mind Power Meets Mystic", you're here for another episode with me, Michelle Walters, I'm the mind power, and my podcast partner Cinthia Varkevisser. She is our resident show mystic. We are continuing on our little trend about talking about decluttering because it is spring, and it is a good time to think about decluttering. Not that there's ever really a bad time. But spring is kind of one of those traditional times when people think about it. And we already did an episode talking about physically clearing things up. And timewise clearing things up. So today's episode is going to be talking about clearing up the mind and emotions, which is a huge part of the work that Cinthia and I do with our clients. So Cinthia, what is one way that you help clients in terms of decluttering their emotions or what's on their mind?

What I find happens is that people tend to splinter they have a connected thought, but then they tend to splinter. So I will use one of my favorite examples is someone who wants to do something in business. And is this true to my heart too. And then what happens is that they want to do you know, something that's a veer to the left part of their business of your to the right part of their business. And it's not like they can't do it. But what we do, we need to find the unifying thought, so that they can go ahead and pursue all those things. So what I do is, or what we do is that we work together to find the unifying thought. And then based on that unifying site, they get to decide the client gets to decide whether or not they're going to fortify what they're working on right now. Or if it's time to jump off and do those other things. So it's really interesting,

I'm working on a unifying thought, because actually, I don't usually work that way with my clients. It's actually quite different. My clients often show up saying, I'm here to stop this behavior, I'm here to let go of obsessing about this person I'm here to, and they're working on something very particular. And so what we got to do is get rid of that, in terms of either the emotional connections, or the physical behaviors, or the mental connections they have with something. So it's not so much unifying, it's really more like subtracting.

I, it totally makes sense to me. And this is a really weird way to look at it. But there are two different therapies in handwriting analysis. One is, you start from you look at the whole page, holistically, and then you work your way in. And the other one is that you find something very particular and then you work the way out. And I think that's exactly what we're saying is that you have the one that you go from something very particular, and then you will work your way out. And I'm the one where you work holistically and work your way in. And that totally makes sense, because there are so many different types of people in the world, right? So the thing that I'm really curious about, because what's happening is we're you and they have something very particular, once you start picking away at it, and and again, you working your way out, do the people do your clients find that they all of a sudden realize that they have another thing or you know, a broader thing, or maybe even a deeper thing, so that they keep so that they keep moving towards that core, that core value or that the core challenge.

I would say that happens sometimes it doesn't happen all the time. But it certainly has happened that working with one working with a client on a particular thing, like we make progress on that, but then discovered that there's something else that needs to be worked on, right. And so usually when that happens, I kind of define them as separate projects with my clients. So we work on one project, we make the change looking for there, we get that to a place where it's good and stable, and then we can look at sort of working on subsequent projects. It just seems to work a little bit better that way the subconscious doesn't mind working on two projects at once. If it thinks that they're really connected. Those two projects are pretty different. Then the subconscious is like what what are we trying to do? Hear, and it's not that it gets confused. So I find it more productive to work on one thing at a time. That

makes sense. That completely makes sense. I would. I'm curious, though, that as they as your clients are working on their their thing? Because it takes more than one right? It takes more than one usually. Usually, it doesn't take, it doesn't take that many, right? No,

no, most of my clients see progress in just a few sessions. Right?

And then after that, have you found that, that they say, oh, okay, so this part of my life became more organized, more uniform or something? And I want to keep going, right? Because we're talking about decluttering. So they found that there's something else that's, that is loosely connected then. And then they

do, some of them do some of them, you know, have kind of time and money budgeted for working on a particular project. And then, you know, want to take a little break step aside from that for a period of time. And then some of my clients, you know, have had things resurface or resurface in unexpected ways. And they give me a call and I need to come back and, and do do a little touch up, do a little Why is this happening kind of thing. So I mean, that doesn't happen all the time. But it happens occasionally. But oftentimes, you know, I work with my clients for two sessions, and we get them cleared up, and then I don't hear from them, which generally means that things are going pretty well that they're pretty satisfied. So what about you? So you, you start with this kind of unifying big picture, thought, how, how does that work for your clients? Do your clients just keep working against that big picture? Thought? Or how does how does that go?

No, it's actually to do a big unifying thought and that way, is so daunting. So what we do is, we find the connections in different parts of their lives. So to dip let's, let's say they want to declutter, there, I have one client, who always talks about work, right? And that the challenges are always work related in their relationships and work. I am not about to talk about the unifying thought, like the core challenge for that person. So what we do is that we talk about work, and we talk about different ways to to clarify what's really going on with work. So you know, what's their, what's their responsibility, or with their gut issue, and then what we find is that we are 100%, of who we are 100% of the time. So then when the trust is established in themselves, then we'll talk about their personal life. And we can go into their family life. And then they get to decide where they want to do their homework in this decluttering. If it feels too intimidating to, to really confront this challenging thing at work, then we find a similar sitch in their family life. And then they can work on that because they're much more confident. And right, and then as they untangled the thing that's happening, that they're focusing on, then the thing that that's been in their face starts untangling on its own as well. So that's the philosophy that works. And then we jump again, because we know that there's an even deeper challenge if, if my client is ready and willing.

That's one of the things I love about the way you work with your clients is you often give them sort of homework or prescription or I don't know what you call it, but something to, to, to keep going with. And I think it'd be fun for you to talk about sort of what maybe an example of what that kind of work looks like for for someone you might be working with. Sure.

I love it. I actually love homework. I don't I actually hate homework. Let's just be real. I hate homework. And I don't know why I hate it. But it's I'm vehement right, vehemently I hate homework, but I do love giving these three steps are x's. So if you know me, I say I max out at seven rules, so anything that has too many rules, you've lost me and if there's you know, Cynthia Have at it then I'm then I'm like floundering. So three works for me, which is why I give three I'm just I believe that you know, law of attraction that my clients will be the same way. So I'm trying to think of a really easy, not easy, but a recent one where we do a three thing RX. Oh, so one of the three things. I had a client, a female who really didn't feel appreciated. And so she had all these thoughts and stories about work and how she wasn't being appreciated. And then we talked about her responsibility of it, which is a Do you know how to, to take an A to take in a compliment gracefully. Right, the other side, the flip side of it, right, flipping the switch, flipping the fight. And once we, once we get to that point, then we do three things around, being able to take something gracefully. The other thing that happens is when people tend to be a little bit resentful, or not feeling seen or heard, is that they don't know how to ask for help. And so the RX usually goes something as simple as this. I don't care if the salt on the dinner table, I don't care if the salt right in front of you ask someone to pass you the salt. It's really ridiculous. Ask someone to open the door for you. So they don't have to be really big ass. It's about getting into the practice of asking. And then for gratitudes when we realize because a lot of people like to deflect, they're their compliments. I just have someone my client this morning, they said, I don't think I I am bad at accepting compliments. I said, Well, if I say, well, that's a really lovely blouse, do you say, Oh, I got it on sale at so and so. And they said, Well, yeah. And I said, so now the challenge is to just take a deep breath, say thank you. And then take another deep breath, because it's really about accepting the compliment. So that's the second thing. And then the third thing is, is to recognize and tell people that that, that they do their own good work. So they had to pat themselves on the back every time that they can. So it's they're simple. They're not easy are x's, but they are very simple things that can be done every day.

But I hear you and it's in my book, my book is an alignment of spirit finding work you love. And one of the things I talk about is receiving, because there are people who are not good receivers. And if you're not a good receiver, like the lady who needs to mention that she bought her blouse on sale, as opposed to just saying, Thank you, you got to learn how to get out of that habit. Because it's not doing yet it's not doing you any favors. You're not You're not playing the game, the way we all need everybody to play the game. So, right.

It's really incredible that in one sentence, they can record you know, someone can recognize themselves as well as take the compliment. So I asked her, I said, You look really fit. I said, What do you do? Do you talk about your eating habits or your your exercise regimen? She goes, yeah. And I said about saying, Hey, thank you, thank you, thank you for noticing I've been working really hard. You know. So it's, it's a really lovely way to unify. And then what it does is that it declutters a lot of the thoughts of, you know, people and because you know when we have, when we have our stories, it's not just one person that's, that's messing with us. In our reality. It's a bunch of people that are that are messing with us. You know,

I want to take this quick moment to remind all of our listeners that they are listening to "Mind Power Meets Mystic" with me, Michelle Walters, and my co host Cinthia Varkevisser. We are now on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please like and subscribe. And if you are listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review and write us a little review because we'd love to hear from you. We'd love to know what you like about our show what we can do more of or less of, we really want to hear from our audience. So Cinthia, how does the decluttering of the mind relate to other kinds of decluttering? Like decluttering of the space?

Oh, I think I'd have to go backwards. So it'd be decluttering the space to declutter the mind, right? Okay. The thing about decluttering the space is, it's all about really removing things that don't serve you, or it actually is just no longer serving for whatever reason. One is that it's it's no longer useful. It's no longer an emotional attachment. It's no longer beautiful, I think is a good way of saying it, which is all this is it's all you know, variations of the same thing. And so the the thing that I love to do is when people are attached emotionally we won't even go into the energy of it. of that of that item is to say hey, what is it that you you know, It goes a little bit beyond Marie Kondo spark joy, right? Because all she says is hold it close. And if it sparks joy, keep it. And if it doesn't, that doesn't really help with the part of that I'm still attached to it, it doesn't spark joy, but I'm still attached. And so what we do is we like, what's the attachment Are you attached to the color or you touch to the person who gave it to you. And then based on that, we can either move it to a different place, or, you know, that kind of thing. And what happens is, by understanding what we're really looking for in our space, it helps us free up our mind so that whatever space we have intended, like, I don't want to do work in my, in my bedroom. So I don't want any work shit in my bedroom, right? Or anything that even looks like work. Right? And I don't want any Well, I'm not gonna say I don't want sexy business in my kitchen, right? Because everybody knows that they want a little sexy business in their kitchen. But, you know, there's certain things I wouldn't want in my kitchen, without going into the explicit rated X version that I know that I think I earned, but I'm not going there. So and So by doing this, and in our home, we we have set up these environments that we walk in, and our home is in agreement with, with our, with our energy, and and then we get to stay as clear as possible. Yeah, yeah, I do, too. The thing that I really love about you, Michelle, is that you know, how to pierce through someone's challenge. And, and you have your own type of RX, you do it by telling someone just how amazing they are and what their gifts are. And then you remind them how they can use those gifts. How does that apply to you for decluttering for your clients, and friends.

I think with an awful lot of my clients, they're kind of here because they're looking for peace, they're looking for peace, whether it's peace with letting go of a bad habit, or it's peace for anxiety, or it's peace for changes at work or a relationship, it's people really looking for greater peace. And that peace in my mind really is a form of decluttering. Right? It's finding a way to kind of let go of the noise, hypnosis, the practice of it is very decluttering ish. Because the whole process of putting someone in a state of hypnosis is really an opportunity for them to just let go of all the extraneous thoughts, the process of being in a state of hypnosis takes you to this deep point of focus, that you can really focus on something much more deeply, and kind of everything else just kind of looked away for the time being. And so I think that part of the reason why I love the process of hypnosis, and I love bringing my clients into that state, you know, and I get a little, I get a little of it, too, as I as I take them into that state is that wonderful joy of being able to just be present with the one thing that we are working on, and not needing to listen to all the other noise, you know, we have so much noise in our lives, I think we have, like 30,000 messages a day or something like that, that we run into. It's it's I don't really know that that. Well, let's put it this way. I don't think that the human body or mind was evolved with expecting this many, this much noise, right in our this much noise in our system. And so finding ways to focus, finding ways to let go of the extra finding ways to declutter finding ways to, you know, just take even a few minutes to not think so much is, is really helpful, because I don't think we were I don't think we were sort of designed for this. I think we're coping pretty well. But I don't think we were designed for this.

Now, I know we aren't, we're way too sensitive to to be able to discern what we want to bring in and what needs to go through and maybe not even through right because through unless you're really good at clearing yourself energetically through is not as good as well. Look, you also have this added piece in your expertise of, of coaching of executive coaching. So in the In these, with these people that are inundated with information, and they have limited time, because you know, of this thing that's weird called work life balance. I hope we I hope that we, but I hope that the different term like we have heard, like the harmony harmonious,

I think harmony is a better description of how people how people are pushed to live these days.

Right, right. With this added bonus of you doing this and working with knowing that there are so many people who are inundated, right, I'm on the executive coaching side, how do you? How do you help people declutter or hone in or prioritize? Because that's all the same as the, you know, that's all part of decluttering?

It's a matter of asking the right questions. Usually, it's a matter of asking the right questions, it's a matter of helping somebody to verbalize or, or to or to just acknowledge, as they reflect on my questions, that there is more wisdom within them, and helping them to show themselves what that wisdom is. Because a lot of times on the stuff that I'm coaching people on, it's not stuff that people don't really know, it's not like I'm coaching them to become a pilot, and they know nothing about it. Right. I'm coaching them on stuff that they already know. But there's a lot of value in hearing someone else reflect back to you what you know. And also I think, as I was saying earlier, there's so much noise, there's so much noise, that it's hard to hear the wisdom of the inner voices. So I think that that's a big part of my role as a coach, I think that's probably the biggest part of my role as a coach, is helping people hear their own inner wisdom. I think there's some things that you can't outsource, you can't outsource the really important decisions, you can't outsource the really important reflections on who you are as a person. And so I think my role as a coach is to help people tap into that inner wisdom, so that they can make decisions and move forward in ways that are really meaningful and significant to them.

That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. So where do you think we go from here?

I think that's a really good question. We just continue on, continue on, with with our podcast and our our our lives and our and our individual practices. You know, one of the things that Cinthia and I really love about our show is we're, we're learning a lot too. You know, we're, we're talking about stuff that's, that's interesting to us, and we're digging into our areas of expertise. But you know, there's stuff that I say, That's really, I should probably try that myself. Right. And I hope the same thing happens for Cinthia. So we are really delighted to have all of you listeners here with us, while we continue on our our journey of learning and teaching and expanding and, and all that kind of good stuff.

Absolutely, absolutely. And, you know, we're gonna continue on with decluttering as well, because I think it's such an important thing. And I think it's so interesting, the different paths that people take when they go on decluttering. So that's, that's going to be really, that's going to be really fun. Well, thank you all for joining us here for "Mind Power Meets Mystic" with Michelle Walters and Cinthia Varkevisser. We hope you've enjoyed today's episode. And we look forward to seeing you back here next week.