112. Navigating Obligations: A Guide to Honoring Your Energy and Values

Hey, hey, hey, party people! Welcome to Mind Power Meets Mystic. This is Cinthia Varkovisser, your spiritual shit disturber, also known as Mystic. Today, my fabulous friend and podcast co-host, Ms. Michelle Walters, is taking this episode off. We decided during season six—yes, we’re in season six!—to cover deeper and more hard-hitting topics, ones that ensure we’re truly serving our audience. So I told Michelle, “Don’t worry about this episode. I got you.”

Shortly after I’d created this beautiful outline for today’s episode, my brother suddenly passed away. It’s been less than two weeks since that happened. And no, I’m not a heartless person; I’m actually in a calm place right now, thanks to a healing I went through. I know the grief will return in waves, but this is a good time for me to share what I’ve prepared. Today, we’re talking about obligations.

Obligations are an interesting thing. They add a tinge to our clear energy, coloring it with expectations and “shoulds” from others—family, work, social expectations—anything outside our truest selves. While some obligations, like maintaining our health, are deeply personal, most come from outside pressures. My brother and I had been estranged for nine years. The disconnect was his choice, but I always hoped we’d reconnect. His sudden passing was shocking and deeply unsettling. It reminded me of the British word gutted.

The woman who was with my brother, Lance, when he passed, kindly went out of her way to find me through social media. She messaged and even left voice messages in the early hours of the morning to inform me. I’m incredibly grateful for her efforts. And now, I’m faced with decisions about what to do with his body and how to honor his memory. These questions have me exploring the concept of obligation from a new perspective, making me feel like the perfect test case for today’s episode.

What Are Obligations?

At their core, obligations are expectations that we perceive or feel from others—family, work, society—that don’t necessarily align with our personal values or integrity. As a first-generation American, I grew up with certain cultural expectations, like having an open-door policy for guests, as my mom did. This is a bit challenging when those you live with have different values, but it’s part of my inherited sense of obligation.

Why Obligations Can Be Harmful

For givers, obligations can be especially draining. Many of us, myself included, often place ourselves last in the line of priorities. This episode idea came to me because some of my clients were facing intense obligations, like whether to provide a place to stay for someone who might become houseless or support a partner in a way that didn’t align with their values. These aren’t minor issues; they’re weighty matters that force us to confront our boundaries and values.

When obligations conflict with our truth, we can end up in a cycle of regret, remorse, and resentment—let’s call them the “three R’s.” Unlike the traditional three R’s of reading, writing, and arithmetic, these lead us away from wholeness. In today’s energetic climate, it’s vital to be clear on what’s truly aligned for us.

Managing Obligations

Now, let’s look at three strategies to reframe and manage obligations so they serve us rather than drain us.

Identify Your Cause for Pause: Anytime you hesitate before agreeing to something, notice it. Is it fear of stepping out of your comfort zone, or is it about how others might be affected? If it’s the latter, you’re likely in the realm of obligation. Recognizing this can help you decide if the commitment is truly yours to take on.

Lean In for Support: Talk to someone you trust. When we have the chance to bounce ideas off others, it often brings clarity and can help us feel less alone in making a choice. This outside perspective can help us see solutions we might not have considered.

Consider Consequences: Think about potential outcomes. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen if I don’t follow through on this obligation? Write down these potential consequences and be prepared, but know that they may never come to pass. This exercise lets us respond calmly if challenges do arise.

Final Thoughts

Obligations are a tinge on our energetic value. They often come from places outside ourselves—family, social expectations, or old stories we hold about who we “should” be. To navigate them, remember to (1) pause and reflect, (2) ask for support, and (3) evaluate potential consequences. These practices give us the power to move from reactive choices to intentional, aligned decisions. This isn’t about saying no to everything; it’s about finding and standing in your truth.

In the end, we’re here to be bigger, better, and brighter. Our mission is to transcend the limits of this 3D world and show up as our highest selves. Creating boundaries and practicing discernment is part of that process.

Thank you for tuning in to Mind Power Meets Mystic! This is Cinthia Varkovisser, your Mystic. If you found value in this episode, please rate, review, and share it with friends. We’re here to help you live in alignment with your truest self. Until next time, take care, honor your spirit, and let your light shine.