82. Sara Hart's Prime Spark Movement: Empowering Women in Midlife and Beyond

Hi, we're Cynthia Varkevisser and Michelle Walters, co-hosts of Mind Power Meets Mystic.

Our weekly show is here to expand your mind to what's possible, to uplift your spirits, to move forward with confidence and joy, and to create a space for your collaboration with the invisible.

Welcome to Mind Power Meets Mystic!

Hey, hey, hey, everyone.

Welcome to Mind Power Meets Mystic with Michelle Walters and I, Michelle our Mind Power junkie and me, Cynthia, your mystic.

Today we are honored to have Dr.

Sarah Hart.

Dr.

Sarah is a lifelong advocate for social change and an inspirational motivating speaker.

She is passionate about PrimeSpark, an idea that became a movement to change the the way our culture sees and treats senior women.

As a speaker, she provides controversial, cutting-edge ideas in our interactive setting.

Sarah founded HeartCom, a consulting company over 20 years ago, focusing on leadership, development, coaching, and team building.

Now, prior to this, she worked for 20 years as a head of learning and development at a Fortune 100 company.

Having gone through her own major midlife transition, Sarah is uniquely qualified to help other women wondering, what's next?

Do the same.

She lives in Los Altos, California with her cat, Mr.

Boone.

Thank you for joining us, Sarah.

- Thank you, Cynthia.

It's wonderful to be here with you.

- Oh, very excited.

Michelle.

- We were so happy to get to meet you in person as opposed to on all of these Zoom calls recently.

And Cynthia and I were both like, hey, we wanna talk more to Sarah.

You were at the speaker at the event we went to and did a bang up job.

And so we were so excited that you said yes to being on Mind Power Meets Mystic.

We were wondering, how did you get to be in this line of work?

How did you go from a Fortune 100 company into running your own business?

- I think that like a lot of women, I think a lot of women go through what I went through.

I worked for this really good company for a really long time and I came to a point where I thought, I can't do this anymore.

I can't do this anymore.

And it became clear to me that I wasn't kidding, that if I didn't make a change, something was, I would get sick, I would do something stupid, I don't know, something would happen.

So I worked with a coach who helped me figure out how to leave with grace.

I mean, I'd been there a long time.

I'd reported to the same man.

We were good friends.

So we worked out a plan and I put it into operation.

And it went after finally getting ready, it went very quickly.

And so the only thing I knew I wanted to do was live in San Francisco.

I was then living in Connecticut.

Oh, that's the only thing I knew I wanted to do.

So I flew to San Francisco.

I found a department I thought I could afford.

I couldn't do that now, but this was a long time ago.

And I flew back to Connecticut and put my house on the market and it sold in three days.

Oh my goodness.

I mean, we're talking, this is serious, Sarah.

Maybe you were just thinking about this.

And so I had a big garage sale sold.

Most of what I had put everything but a couple pieces of furniture in my car and drove cross country and moved into a one room apartment.

And except for people who knew me really, really well, people thought I'd had a nervous breakdown.

I left a wonderful job with a wonderful company.

I had a big, beautiful house in Mystic, Connecticut, and it was gorgeous.

Now I'm living in one room in San Francisco with no job and no idea what I want to do.

So I don't recommend women do it that way, but that's what I did.

And so it took me a while to heal and to figure out what I wanted to do.

And at some point I realized I don't want to work for anybody again.

If I wanted to work for somebody, I'd stayed where I was.

any HeartCom, and that was in: 1996

So I've had it a long time.

That is a long time.

And tell us, what do you do under the HeartCom umbrella?

Well, until about three years ago, I did consulting in organizations.

I did.

When I when I first decided to form heart com and I did that before the dot com era.

So my last name is heart.

And so it was calm was communication commitment and community.

And so heart calm and then when the dot com era came in it was in heart calm.

com.

So I decided I would do everything I had been doing in terms of leadership coaching and team building and offsite meetings and stuff.

Because that I enjoyed and so I did that until about I don't know three or four years ago, I thought, you know, I've been a consultant or an employee in corporate America for over 40 years.

That's enough.

Enough.

And I was working with a coach and she said, you know, what are you going to do?

I said, well, you know what I think I want to do is work for and on behalf of older women.

And I felt that because I had had a couple of things happen.

One in a doctor's office where I thought he treated me like I was about 90 and nobody, 90 deserves to be treated like they're 90.

But, and I thought at that, that was it.

And I thought, you know, this can't keep happening.

This can't keep happening.

We're different.

We're young at heart.

We're 60, 70, 80 is not what it used to be.

And so I was working with her and I said, I wanted to work with older women.

She said, "Oh, your goals in years.

" And I said, no, no, no, no, no, not just all the years.

I want to work with women in the prime of their lives in their 60s, 70s, 80s.

And I want to help them find the spark that will ignite them into the future.

And I thought, what a spark in the prime of your life.

Prime spark.

And so that's how Prime Spark was developed.

And so I've been working Prime Spark for the last three, four years.

And our mission is to change the way our society sees and treats older women is Cynthia said and minted in my bio.

I'm passionate about it.

And it's a big mission.

And we will make a difference.

We will.

Well, you made a difference to both of us in your in your talk.

Two things happened in your timing.

Your talk was perfect timing for me for sure.

where you're talking about a lot of women, I'm 57 years old, in mid 50s, 60s, are already thinking that we're on the downside.

And you ran us through some exercises where we could remember all the things that we enjoy, the things that bring us vitality and that we still do have a lot of vitality.

And you finish with this thing that I loved, and I say it to myself every day that 57 is not the new 40.

I'm the new 57.

Absolutely.

It was beautiful.

So you so I'm really grateful for having been, you know, able to to hear that and really grok it.

I would love to know, am I the demographic?

Are you working with women primarily in their 50s and 60s and 70s?

Are you catching women who are in their 40s and they're already starting to understand that there is definitely something more and it's not going to be fulfilled in their current space?

That's a great question, Cindy.

I'm working mostly with women in above 50.

But every once in a while a woman in her 30s or 40s will say, "I'm really interested in what you're doing.

Can I be part of it?

" Absolutely.

Because, well, if we're going to change how our society sees older women, then younger women need to be involved because they are going to be older women.

And there are so many women who don't want to think about getting older.

And we're the only alternative is to die.

And, you know, we're getting older.

That's the reality.

And we need to redefine what that means.

And so, yeah, women in their late 30s, 40s are perfect to become part of Prime Smart.

Because if they can start changing their attitude about getting older, then the nine years ahead of them will be even better.

because we know now that our attitude about aging greatly affects our health.

It even affects our longevity.

So if women in their forties can start standing up for themselves, especially women in the workplace, because women in the workplace, not not quite so much entrepreneurs, but women who are inside organizations start facing ageism in their 40s.

And they need to know that that's wrong and to stand up for themselves and to start saying back and to taking action when they see it happening to them or to other women.

And so, yes, long answer to women in their 40s would be great.

But right now I'm I'm working mainly with people in women 50 and above.

- I think it's great what you're doing, Sarah, because it really is, the whole attitude towards aging in our American society today is, I mean, just abhorrent, really.

I saw news recently that mothers are taking their teenagers to Sephora to buy them anti-aging cream.

Like, why do we have to have so many products that are called anti-aging?

It's just ridiculous.

It's ridiculous and it's doing a horrible thing to those young women.

I mean anti-aging means you're pro-dying because we're all aging and you can't be against aging.

We can be against unhealthy aging.

I mean, we need to be pro-aging, pro-healthy aging, and to keep our bodies and our minds and our spirits as fit as possible.

And so working toward really good health in all areas, that makes sense.

Spending lots of money on anti-aging lotions, potions, creams, operations is nuts, in my opinion.

And I need to say that a little softer, but I think it's nuts.

- Oh, I think it's completely nuts.

It's just completely nuts.

And I think you're right.

Like what are we doing when we're teaching our 15 year olds that they should be thinking about anti-aging cream?

I mean, that sends a horrible message.

- It sends a horrible message and it says so much about the mother.

And I have huge compassion for that mother because she is so afraid of getting older.

And that is a terrible way to live.

I mean, not to love having your birthday, not to relish and joy in having another year to live.

That's so sad.

And so if she's passing that along and that poor woman, I feel very sorry for her.

That hard way to live.

- It's funny, Cynthia and I were on a call with a friend a few weeks ago, and the friend asked me how old I was.

And I had to stop and think about it.

And I was like, well, it doesn't end in a zero.

So I'm not really paying too much attention to it.

I'm like, I'm just gonna keep the math really easy.

And if it ends in a zero, then I'll definitely know that this is like a big year, right?

But other than that, It doesn't do me any favors to be really too focused on it.

I need to sort of be more in the present and do what I gotta do.

- Right.

That's absolutely right.

And this is just me, Ms.

Shower.

I think we could also work towards being joyous about what age you are and saying whatever it is to people.

How old are you?

I am whatever you all are because You don't ask somebody their age any more than you ask them how much money they make in the year.

I mean, you know, it's something we just don't talk about.

It's like asking somebody about their sexual habits.

I mean, and it's it's it's it's age.

I mean, it's just how many years we've lived.

I mean, that's nutty.

No, it's funny is I actually like using my age to bring home a point that I have experienced something.

And I don't mind that at all.

And I feel that every time I do that, I'm celebrating something.

You know, like I'm celebrating my experience.

I'm celebrating that the thing that I've gone through is as a success, you know?

So in those cases, I believe age is a great time to put in, but not as a marker of what everything else should be, you know?

Well, hey, I'd like to remind everybody that we are listening to Mind Power Meets Mystic and that we are also on video on a YouTube channel that will be in our show notes.

So please like us, put notes, give us great reviews because we are excellent and providing excellent information and tell your friends because we have butt loads of great information that, I'm so sorry, I forgot to tell you, Sarah, that I'm inappropriate sometimes, but we have a ton of great information that can benefit so many people.

So Sarah, can I go ahead and switch gears just for a second?

I also do real estate.

I don't talk about that very much, but the trend now are women, friends, purchasing properties together and growing all together.

And I love that as a movement, it makes sense because you know that there are people carrying for you that you have community.

Can you tell me how we can take that movement and also turn it into the piece that you're talking about where it's not just about celebrating, but contributing in business and contributing in other aspects, rather we're not just caring for each other, but to extend even beyond that in our communities.

- Oh, that's wonderful, Cynthia.

And as you were just saying that, I wish I could, I'm not gonna remember this and I really wish I could.

There is a community of older women in the UK who have a community of women just like you're talking about and that has been very successful.

And they were written up somewhere that I read not very long ago.

So it is a movement.

And I think we actually in the United States are a bit behind.

And I think it is a wonderful, wonderful idea.

Because, I mean, I have, I've given lots of talks on another book I wrote, and it has to do with downsizing your home.

And so I've given the talk to a lot of people who are thinking, older people who are thinking of moving and downsizing their home.

And many of them say they want to age in place, and I understand that, but it's hard.

And for a lot of people, it becomes very lonely, and it becomes very expensive because it requires a lot of caregivers coming in and out.

And gradually over time, if we keep living longer, we will probably lose friends along the way.

And so it gets a lot of money.

So I think that kind of community is an absolutely wonderful, excellent idea.

The problem I see with it, and this can be solved, and it will be, but you get to some, not all of us, but many of us, get to some point where we need more care than that group of women can provide.

And at that point, what do we do?

And at that point, we need assisted living, skilled nursing, maybe memory care.

And if you're not already part of a retirement community, is on a graduated basis of independent living, assisted living, skilled nursing, so forth, it can be hard to find a place to get into.

And so if those kinds of communities start developing, then there's going to need to be more development of the continuing care.

But other than that, I think it is a wonderful idea.

And I mean, women, almost to our detriment sometimes, we're sort of brought up to take care of people.

And I think it's really good when we get to a certain age and we don't have to do that anymore.

And the only person you have to take care of is yourself.

And that sounds selfish, but if I don't take care of me first, I'm not going to be able to take care of anybody else.

And for women who have spent their entire adult lives up to the age of 48, 50, 52, taking care of spouses and homes and children and maybe parents to finally come to the point of not having to take care of anybody but herself and figure out, okay, now, what do I want to do for me?

So I would hope that the communities could develop in a way that champions community and also self-growth, self-development, so that everybody doesn't feel like their primary job is to take care of each other.

I mean, they need to take care of themselves and do what they wanna do with their lives.

- Kara, I wondered if you could tell us a little bit about a client that you'd worked with and how you were able to help her make a big change, achieve something or transform.

Could you talk a little bit about maybe an example client?

- Sure, I was working with one woman.

I sometimes do story circles, which I just love.

And we get together and tell true stories from our lives.

And it's amazing what services with that as we share.

And one woman was in the group and we'd been meeting for several sessions.

And she was telling a story that was from her, I asked women to divide their lives into decades.

And so this was from her second decade.

So she's a teenager.

She had never told this story out loud to anybody, but she told it.

And as she told it, you could see a change in her face and body.

I mean, this was a powerful story for her to tell out loud.

And from having told that story out loud, she now can tell that story.

I've heard her tell that story much wider.

But from it, she realized what her, her quote, origin story is and why she's doing what she's doing.

And so her work became really, really clear to her.

from that story because she realized that had been an amazing transforming moment for her in that story.

And not only then did it was a transformative experience for the people in the story, it was for her, and it was for her telling it 40 years later.

because it brought her to understanding why am I doing what I'm doing right now?

And it got really clear to her and that was so exciting to watch.

[BLANK_AUDIO] >> That's beautiful, so beautiful.

I let the listeners know what are you up to?

What's coming up?

What are we celebrating with you?

>> Two things come to mind, Cynthia.

One is, I am going to start another story circle soon.

So if anybody is interested in it, they need to get in touch with me because I need to make sure that people are interested in doing it again.

I don't mean the same people, but that there are people who are interested in doing it.

I wanna do it 'cause it's so much fun, I love to do it.

So that's coming up.

So people can get in touch with me if they want to be in that circle and we'll start making a list of people who want to do it.

And the second thing is I have written a children's book and it's been illustrated by Susan Davis.

It is, it will be out pretty soon on Amazon.

And it is, it contains a poem I wrote about a kitty I had years ago.

And I wrote the poem years ago and I have been trying for years to get it published somehow.

And now it is, it's part of this children's book and it's going to happen.

I am so excited just you know to have a dream you've had for years and years that has nothing to do with anything you're doing right now but still it's been a dream it's for years and it's going to become a reality is so exciting.

What's the name of the book?

The Adventures of Mellie and Mr.

Boo, Two Orange Kitties.

That sounds fantastic Sarah.

Congratulations on your children's book.

Thank you so much for being a guest today on Mind Power Meets Mystic.

Cynthia and I were just loving your stories and hearing about your risk-taking trip across the country and your story circles sound really, really fascinating and extremely transformative and helping people.

Cynthia and I like to talk about helping people flip their switch, change from one thing to another.

And I think your story was an excellent representation of that.

So thanks for joining us this week on Mind Power Meets Mystic.

And for our audience out there, please like us, subscribe, share us with a friend.

We want to hear from you and give us a rating and review.

We would love all of that.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

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