44. Unwind & Unleash: Swearing, Storytelling and the Art of Stripping Down your Sh*tstorm

Cinthia Varkevisser 0:10

Hey, hey, hey everyone, and welcome to Mind power meets mystic with Michelle Walters mind power, and me, Cinthia Varkevisser Mystic. Today I'm doing a solo episode and swearing my head off so that Michelle doesn't need to grin, shake her head and lovingly say Cinthia Cinthia Cinthia. So today's topic, unguided unleash swearing storytelling, and the art of stripping down a shitstorm. This is actually a stress relief episode, let me tell you how this came about. had a friend who was complaining about her roommate, who would stay late, late into the night, playing video games online with a bunch of friends, and really getting a kick out of killing people and all that other stuff. I can't remember the name of the of the game, but I'm sure you would know it if you heard it. And, um, what we talked about were different types of stress relief. And for him as a business owner, his stress was always locked into his head and to have an avatar and running and imagination and imaginary world made him actually unlock his stress. And so although she didn't understand completely, she could appreciate that there are different ways of de stress distressing

Now, there are so many different ways. What's important is to find out the one that is perfect for you. I learned all this Believe it or not, during my short time as a handwriting analyst. Yes, I was a handwriting analyst. Here's what happened. I was doing my intuitive work, and loving every second of it. But what my teacher kept noticing is that I was looking for acknowledgement, I was looking for confirmation, I was looking for affirmation, and that my readings were based on this need to please and need for validation. And so she said, Look, if you can't get over this piece, do something different, where you know that there is a science behind it, and see if that can make you happy. And then she gave me the name of a graph biologist, which is a handwriting analyst. And I went through her program. The program was amazing. I learned a ton. It was a great time. And at the end of the day, while I was doing handwriting analysis, I ended up doing readings people would talk about their partners or family members had nothing to do it was on the printed page. And yet, I was answering. And that's when I realized that readings were for me. I totally totally love everyone in the handwriting analysis realm. Love graphologist graphic therapist totally believe in it. And it just wasn't the thing that was going to stick for me. However, here's one of the things that I did learn in handwriting analysis. Everything is on a spectrum and it goes to extremes. Now, you would think that being one extreme or the other is a good thing. That's actually incorrect. You're actually looking for the middle of the spectrum which is balance. So in this handwriting analysis This life that I had, I learned that there are two types of people, there are the mental people. And there are the physical people. That doesn't mean mental. And it doesn't mean dumb jock. We're all somewhere on the spectrum. But what it does mean is that there are two fundamentally different ways to relieve stress.

Now, a lot of people say, you know, I'm a mental person, and I go workout every day. And I said, you know, that's fantastic. And, and I'm sure you're fit and in really good shape. And it's not the actual exercise that's distressing you, but it could be the scenery, or that you're watching TV, or that you're doing other things in order to help you de stress. So let me break it down to you, okay. People who are mental are all about being in their head, they are about solving problems, they have all the conversations in their head. These are people who are going to go into the handwriting analysis, who tend to have light pressure handwriting, which means that they're writing on the page, if they look, the page underneath two pages underneath, you're not going to see any of their pressure in the in the pages underneath. heavy pressure handwriting, you know, because two pages underneath three pages underneath, you can still feel the pressure of the handwriting, and you can actually read what was written on the page. So that's light pressure, handwriting and heavy pressure, handwriting. Light, pressure, handwriting are the mental people, mental people like creativity, they like change, they like variety. They like being in their heads, problem solving is very important to them, in a an unlocking way

Physical people are all about, not about change, it's about longevity, they tend to forgive but not forget, they tend to stay at their jobs too long, stay in a house too long, stay in a relationship too long, because they want to make sure that it is done when it's done. All right. So mental people that's important is that the unlocking needs to happen in the same way as the locking. So it's about really releasing yourself from all the problems of the day, and letting your mind free up for someone else. So one of my favorite people in the whole wide world was a chief cardiologist, she has since retired, amazing person. And at the end of the day, she had to do at least one crossword puzzle. I believe she also did work search, but definitely a crossword puzzles and read a little bit. And her husband was like, I don't get it, I don't get it. But I do. Because with all the things that she did, by focusing on this one thing, she gets unlocked, and release of all of her troubles of the day. And for physical people, it really is about getting it out of your body. So doing the physical activities, and it doesn't have to be sports, but sports is the simplest thing to think about. All right. So some people say, well, that kind of sucks, because then I can't do anything in common. And then I'd like to remind you that that is not accurate. A mental person and a physical person can go on a hike, just know that a physical person is there to count the steps to count the calories to burn off that extra energy. The mental person is to take a look at the scenery. Listen for the birds, look for the animals, check out the trees, discover new flowers. So there are there are both that you know, both can benefit from the hike. This doesn't mean that you're going to be at the same pace. But you can appreciate that at certain times, you're going to walk fast, and certain times you're going to walk slow in order for the two of you to gain the benefits of a hike. All right

So this was apparent to me a long time ago when my kids were think they were in second or third grade. And a bunch of parents decided hey, let's have a family camp out there. Out there meaning at Samuel P Taylor Park, which beautiful place to to park camp, and they had flush toilets so their dad was super happy and all that other good stuff. Well, not too far away. There was a four mile hike that went from one area and kind of like the parking lot you know, picnic area, and then it wound down to the beach. So I started hiking and it was lovely for the first mile. And then the second mile. I was like I can't stand it the, the brush looks the same. I don't see anything, I don't hear anything. So what I would do is I would pop off from one person to the next, the families and have conversations to help the mileage go by Eric was in the back with all the kids having a blast, because he would clean up different animals and different plants. And you know, he took forever with the kids. He had a great time. I was hungry, I was hot. And I was bored. So legging it out the last mile was my favorite mile. Because I'm not going to say that I was completely competitive. But I could see like I'm going from family to family going faster. And, and that was a lovely thing for me. Now, before I go on, let me remind you that you're listening to mine power meets mystic with Michelle Walters and Cynthia Varkevisser. And today we're talking about distressing. Okay. All right. So we're talking about mental and physical. And of course,

I can't have a session or an episode without talking about meditation, because meditation is amazing. And meditation can be anything, so long as it brings your thoughts down to one or none. Okay, so all of a sudden, meditation can be so many different things that people don't really think about. So let me help you out. Yes, there are mental people. Yes, there are physical people. But we're also on the spectrum, you know, between, right. So I tend to be a more physical than I am mental. But I do have conversations in my head all the time. And I'm extremely visual. So by visually, I learned I learned visually, I learned kinetically. I don't learn so well. Your auditory doesn't mean I'm not a good listener. It just means I can't listen, I start daydreaming. So a lot of people who are not visual say that they can't meditate. And that I would like to correct. All right, there are so many different ways to do meditation, that doesn't have to do with closing your eyes and listening to a guided meditation, or to imagine certain things

So let me give you a couple. One is that you can do a walking meditation, walking meditations are fabulous. Where again, my favorite is you walk briskly for five minutes, then you turn around and you walk 50% and return and take a minimum of 10 minutes, because then you get to look around and see it all the things that you had looked at when you were so busy. legging it out for the first five minutes, right. You can do any open eyed meditation. So candle burning, staring at a picture going to a museum, and really losing yourself in a piece of artwork that is a meditation, candle meditation. By the way, my least favorite meditation is good for those who see that they're not visual. Then there's also my favorite writing meditation, which is Lacey ELLs, where you connect a bunch of capital letter ELLs and link them and you end up going down the page instead of across the page. And they are cursive. So they look like infinity signs or Laci ELLs or funky figure eights, but do two pages of those and that is a form of meditation

Okay, now, for those of us who say, I can't sit still, I can't sit still. That's not a problem. You can meditate while you're moving right? Again, we can go back to the walking meditation. Another one that I love, that is a form of sound meditation is to walk as slowly as possible on different surfaces. So I love walking in tall grass barefoot because of the sensation. Okay. I also love walking on any kind of gravel walkway and walk super slowly so I can just listen and really delight in the sounds of the of the pebbles moving below my feet. I love walking in fresh snow. I love the squeaky sand on the beach or lakeside, all these things when you're walking. Really pay attention to what you're doing with sound and you will find that that as a form of meditation, all right

Now, some of us have really busy minds. I think about my friend Sonya who's done so well, in the past few years. When we first met half a lifetime ago, she was always thinking always in her head and had a very hard time with visual meditations. And those are great to have repetitive meditations. Sewing can be a meditation, knitting is a meditation, shuffling cards, my teacher, my Swami mommy, Connie Jackson, which shuffle cards now, this is what I love about her, she would shuffle cards in her mind. To slow down. I actually like the act of shuffling cards and feeling the cards and hearing the shuffle because you know, I like to bridge them. And then I hear that. And that makes me feel good. That is a meditation. You can also envelop yourself in sound. So sound baths are amazing meditations, going to the symphony and just listening to all the music, all the sound letting it reverberate within you. That's a beautiful meditation.

One of my friends, Anastasia, recently had me lay down, because a grown up in a dress by the way, and a tiara and a sash. She had me lay underneath piano, and we got to listen to the piano, just laying down and letting the chords really strike us in a different way. And that was amazing. And it also helped that I love the song, but you get where I'm coming from on that. Right. The other thing is you can go garden. So deadheading flowers, weeding, fantastic meditations for all those for the all those who keep getting distracted. So I'm hoping that you're getting some ideas about meditation. But let's bring this all back. It's not just about meditation, this is about stripping down your personal shitstorm. Right. So it's really about getting out of that chaos that you find yourself in from time to time, and bring it back down to something that is manageable, right size and real. Because real is actually where it's all at. Right? So if you can see me, because I do have a video version of this. For us physical people. I am wearing my orange I need a lot of football jacket. ole ole ole ole. So, for all of us physical minded, sports is awesome for us, right? team sports, also add that social element and helps us stay connected in a beautiful way. But it doesn't always have to be team sports, anything that's community based and has a physical thing to it. Now, remember, I want you to know that just because we're physically minded doesn't mean that we stick with physical things.

I had the opportunity to do handwriting analysis for Tyrell Owens when he was a rookie for the San Francisco 40 Niners and I was amazed that he had late pressure handwriting. So as a wide receiver, he was all about being smart. And he loved the plays. He loved the technicalities of it. And of course he loved burning the quarterbacks so I told him I said you know what you just blew my mind about the thoughts of being a dumb jock. And he appreciated that. But back to that physically might have anything physical dig in the dirt. So while the mental, the mental people are pulling weeds and deadheading dig, right? Get that shovel, rake, mow, trim all those things perfect for those who are on the physical side. Okay, sports for those on the mental side. Doesn't mean that it's all for mental people. But it's all about anything that has strategy. technicalities, bowling, super smart. You got to figure out the technicalities, get into the nitty gritty of things. Pickleball Believe it or not because of the strategies and the way that it's different than other sports but it's a little bit faster. playing pool or billiards that is also strategy driven angles. Calculations are great for the mentally made it and then you're saying Cynthia, come on those feels so passive. Alright my friend, then do fencing, start fencing, fencing. What I read is I'm playing chess at 88 miles per hour. Actually, I'm 188 Miles power came from.

What's that movie with Michael J. Fox, right? The 88 Miles power, but it is about doing fence. I mean, doing chess at a blinding speed. So, let's sum up. There is something for everyone, wherever you are on the physical mental spectrum, and know that whatever you do, as you're stripping down this stress, and making it right size, it helps you with your problem solving. It helps you with your communication, it helps you stay on your spiritual path, because I don't care what people say, we are all on a spiritual path. We are here to find our inner truth, walk our inner truth and express our inner truth. And then the trick is that we do this while we're walking along others who are doing the same thing

So I hope you got some value out of this. If you'd like to know what else I'm up to check out the studio notes. And you'll see my website, which is Cynthia varkevisser.com. You'll see a link to my cool stripped down with stuck, which is a 30 minute coaching podcast style where we find the thing that is bugging the shit out of you. And then you turn it into something manageable. And then I give you a three ingredient RX to get your ass down the road. Okay, um, what else also got a an event coming up that you can see on my website and come back listen more to mind power needs missed it like us, join us. Give us comments, ask questions, and we Michelle and I will be happy to respond. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you and connect with you real soon.